I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
