just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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