We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
