you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
