you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
