I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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