I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I would fuck him just for his dog
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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