They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
