he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
