I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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