My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
