There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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