OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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