I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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