I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
