You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
