yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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