I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
