At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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