Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
