If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
