she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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