Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
