I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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