I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
