I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
