that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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