I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
