I got chris browned last night
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Randomize
