So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
