dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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