Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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