I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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