Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
