I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
