No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
