I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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