K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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