I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
