Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i dont even know how to be here
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize