Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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