After last night, I could never be a politician.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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