Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
