Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
