So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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