Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
