some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
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