mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
