took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
