we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
