Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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